I'm having a self-loathing episode. Currently working out of our SF office for the week, and we had an offsite all day meeting that because of my ADHD, inability to properly judge time, and my incessant need to "do it on the cheap," I was late and got reprimanded by text by my boss. The ADHD kicked in while I was getting ready, and I suddenly realized my plan to get there early turned into rushing to get there on time. THEN I made the mistake of taking a shared LYFT, to save the extra $20-$30 bucks and was NOT on time. The reprimand sent me into the uncontrollable emotional reaction (which I think is also ADHD) and I was unable to get myself out of it. Then, real or imagined, my boss basically ignored/avoided me all day (which could have been imagined, but does it really matter?)
The day ended with a group dinner, which, in an effort to cheer myself, I chose to drink four cocktails (not at all my usual). When I got back to the hotel, I spent the night pretty much feeling like shit. I awoke this morning and got myself to the office at a decent time, but still the self-loathing persists, and I'm not having a good day.
Just needed to share.
UPDATE - My boss scheduled a Check-in meeting with me and turns out I'm getting a bonus and a raise. So no more self loathing. I'm actually pretty pleased with myself. Oh fickle emotions!
